Pages

Friday, 13 April 2018

writing blog post

for writing we had to write a story about this picture.


The wind rushed through her gorgeous brown hair as she descended through the forest at great speed. For most people this would be an exhilarating, even terrifying experience, but for Lucy it was just an ordinary journey.

Lucy is a girl around the age nine and ten, she has gorgeous brown hair and was kind of short,her and her family lived on the top of mount vaea so she has to zipline down a very long chain with a strap for her to sit in. Lucy usually gets alot of ordeal pressure put on her, like going down to the supermarket with a huge sack on her back and babysitting her younger siblings.


soaring through the air was like a day to day experience for Lucy, it’s quite sensational for a little girl around the age nine to zipline through a forest alone but I guess she really enjoys just gliding along, she doesn’t mind going down the chain to get to school and to the shop but the thing that she really hate is getting back up to her home she has to pull herself up, it's a really long process, she climbs then slides then climbs then slides it's just a really long mission.


Sometimes when she’s alone at the supermarket she feels a bit vulnerable and just wants to cry, people look at her weird, when she's crying on the ground people think she homeless and throw money out to her and little kids will pass her calling her names like dirt rag it was quite preposterous, the thing for that was cause her family wasn’t that rich and couldn’t afford a big house or new clothes.


Her family didn’t have a good life they had quite a miserable life, but she still loves her family and her family loves her.

6 comments:

  1. Wow Piper! You have managed to incorporate some very interesting language into your writing while making the reader want to know more. I would love to know more about why Lucy feels vulnerable. Do you think Lucy could help herself, and her family, have a less miserable life - even a happy and fulfilling life? What do you think Lucy would have to do to make this happen

    I look forward to your next blog post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Piper
    Its Gracie
    I really enjoyed your story, you have a lot of good words
    The story is very good because you're talking about the girl Lucy and saying what she looks like
    you should try and make the story fit on one page
    Thanks Gracie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. hi gracie,
      thanks for the comment and I have fixed the problem now, so it is way easier to read.
      Piper.

      Delete
  3. Hi Piper
    Its Chloe
    from Rimu class
    I like how you used Powerful words in your Story. Maybe next time use some similes.
    Love how You gave us detail about the girl and her family.
    Good job keep it up !

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Piper. My name is Toby from Waikowhai Primary. I liked how you used tons of adjectives in your story. Maybe next time you could say a bit more about her family other than they loved her.
    Blog ya later!

    ReplyDelete

To support my learning I ask you to comment as follows:
1. Something positive - something you like about what I have shared.
2. Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what I had to say
3. Something thoughtful - how have you connected with my learning? Give me some ideas for next time or ask me a question.